Why do my friends say I look sad when I am happy just thinking of Krsna?

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His Divine Grace
A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
Prabhupada
Founder-Acarya of the
Hare Krishna Movement

There are many pictures of His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada where he looks very grave or sad, but he said he was feeling great happiness in Krishna consciousness. People only see the body, not the mind or even the soul, so they may misinterpret our inner feelings. Dravinaksa das (10-09-07)

Letter to Dravinaksa Das:

Dear Sir,
I used to be in Krsna consciousness all the day because I came to know that he is with me from one of the books written by A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami. When I used to meditate on him all the day, friends used to ask me why I'm sad, I'll reply that I'm not, but they don't believe. even me. why are they feeling like that so? or the problem is with me? I'm working in Chennai but my parents are in Coimbatore [Tamil Nadu], so, they expect me to call them. But I used to forget to call them when I'm in Krsna conscious. They called me and started to scold me. Why is this happening? I'm not able to mingle with people as before as I did before.I want my mind to fix always in krsna consciousness. even in my dreams. I used to meditate all the day keeping krsna in mind. but when i'm sleeping I'm not able to see him. instead I'm seeing unwanted things in my dreams how can I overcome that? I need to explain you one situation. with your kind permission i'm continuing.

Let it be the Monday of last week. I was totally under the control of Krsna. I was even unable to talk to others because i don't like to talk with others because I loved krsna that much by just thinking about him.I used to think in my mind that he is comming with me.eating with me chatting with me like that.at that time i felt this world very bright. Even i avoided going home early from office in the evening. because there TV distracted my mind a little and I was pushed to answer my room mates. so at that time I have to come out of this sweet experiance and has to answer them. so i avoided talking much with them.because i felt very happy and joy by simply thing about Krsna. this continued Tuesday, Wednesday, thursday, friday. On the friday evening I was top of this love with krsna at the same day I went to some restarunt with my relatives there too I was thinking about krsna I don't know how. without my knowledge i avoided talking with them. On the same night they all went to some picture they compled me.but i wanted to go home and wanted to spend some time
with krsna. and I did too. I slept that night thinking of Krsna. but at early morning some dreams came in my minda and distracted me. it was just a normal dream. I still remember that dream.
On saturday morning I don't know why? my mind was not fixed with krsna. I started to cry in my mind. I meditated and all those things i don't know why. I felt Krsna has gone away from me. I came to office and started reading Krsna Book. I was not able to concentrate on that coz of some freequent distractions. gradually some sort of LUST came to my mind and it started to conquer me. i was struggling with that. at lost i'm lost and went home and I settled with TV. saturday and sunday went badly. I'm feeling guilty and I'm very much angry with him coz of making me forgetting him. How can i overcome this?

Your servant,
Santhosh M.

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Reply from Dravinaksa Das:

Dear Santosh,
Greetings!

Regarding your first question:

"When I used to meditate on him all the day, friends used to ask me why I'm sad, I'll reply that I'm not, but they don't believe me. why are they feeling like that?"

There are many pictures of His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada where he looks very grave or sad, but he said he was feeling great happiness in Krishna consciousness. People only see the body, not the mind or even the soul, so they may misinterpret our inner feelings.

Give them a big smile and tell them that inside you are feeling very happy
meditating on Krishna. You say you are not able to mingle with people as you did before.
When one gets a higher taste, naturally he gives up his lower taste for mundane conversation. But we should not neglect our family members. Make yourself a note to call them on a regular basis. If you write them you can send a picture of Krishna so that they will get His association also.

Your third point regarding interruptions in your meditation on Krishna is a good sign of your eagerness to advance in Krishna consciousness. The steady state of unalloyed Krishna consciousness may take some time and practice. In the Bhagavad Gita As It Is, Arjuna said:

"O descendant of Vrsni, by what is one impelled to sinful acts, even unwillingly, as if engaged by force?"

Purport: A living entity, as part and parcel of the Supreme, is originally spiritual, pure, and free from all material contaminations. Therefore, by nature he is not subjected to the sins of the material world. But when he is in contact with the material nature, he acts in many sinful ways without hesitation, and sometimes even against his will. As such, Arjuna's
question to Krsna is very sanguine, as to the perverted nature of the living entities. Although the living entity sometimes does not want to act in sin, he is still forced to act. Sinful actions are not, however, impelled by the Supersoul within, but are due to another cause, as the Lord explains in the next verse.

Krishna replies to Arjuna: "It is lust only, Arjuna, which is born of contact with the material modes of passion and later transformed into wrath,and which is the all-devouring, sinful enemy of this world."

Srila Prabhupada explains in his purport:

"When a living entity comes in contact with the material creation, his eternal love for Krsna is transformed into lust, in association with the mode of passion. Or, in other words, the sense of love of God becomes transformed into lust, as milk in contact with sour tamarind is transformed into yogurt. Then again, when lust is unsatisfied, it turns into wrath; wrath is transformed into illusion, and illusion continues the material existence. Therefore, lust is the greatest enemy of the living entity, and it is lust only which induces the pure living entity to remain entangled in the material world. Wrath is the manifestation of the mode of ignorance; these modes exhibit themselves as wrath and other corollaries. If, therefore, the modes of passion, instead of being degraded into the modes of ignorance, are elevated to the modes of goodness by the prescribed method of Iiving and acting, then one can be saved from the degradation of wrath by spiritual attachment.

The Supreme Personality of Godhead expanded Himself into many for His ever-increasing spiritual bliss, and the living entities are parts and parcels of this spiritual bliss. They also have partial independence, but by misuse of their independence, when the service attitude is transformed into the propensity for sense enjoyment, they come under the sway of lust. This material creation is created by the Lord to give a facility to the conditioned souls to fulfill these lustful propensities, and when they are completely baffled by prolonged lustful activities, the living entities begin to inquire about their real position.

This inquiry is the beginning of the Vedanta-sutras, wherein it is said, athato brahma-jijnasa: one should inquire into the Supreme. And the Supreme is defined in Srimad-Bhagavatam as janmadyasya yato ’nvayad itaratas ca, or, "The origin of everything is the Supreme Brahman." Therefore, the origin of lust is also in the Supreme. If, therefore, lust is transformed into love for the Supreme, or transformed into Krsna consciousness—or, in other words, desiring everything for Krsna—then both lust and wrath can be spiritualized. Hanuman, the great servitor of Lord Rama, engaged his wrath upon his enemies for the satisfaction of the Lord. Therefore, lust and wrath, when they are employed in Krsna consciousness, become our friends instead of our enemies."

I hope that gives you some insite into you questions.

If you have any more questions don't hesitate to write.
Sincerely,
Dravinaksa Das

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